Wedding traditions

The best bit of wedding advice ever - from a bride

Absolutely the best bit of wedding advice I’ve seen from one of my brides is this “It’s your wedding day, fuck what everyone else says you should have, do what you want”

Seriously - there are so many well meaning wedding blogs around that ram things down your throat, there may be people around you who think you should have certain things on a wedding day - you don;t need to do anything you don’t feel completely passionate about.

This is your day, YOUR day. Not anyone else’s.

Don’t want a first dance, don’t have one. Have a first party dance or something, get everyone up dancing - celebrate together!

Don’t want to do speeches because people don’t like doing them - don’t do them, or do them at the end of the night when you’ve had a few beers - the DJ or band will have a microphone. If you want to say something to your other half but not in front of everyone, write them a letter they can read in the morning or something.

Don’t want a cake? Why the hell not - I love cake! Anyway, if you don’t want one don't have one.

That uncle you never liked or never talk to, invite some of your friends to the day instead.

Look - what I’m saying is don’t try and appease other people - if you want to dress up like gnomes and get married, do it…if you want to moonwalk down the aisle do it, do whatever you want - it’s absolutely positively your day, have it your way (didn’t burger king say that? sorry bk). Just do what you want, the people who love you will understand.

What are you waiting for - go plan your wedding how YOU want to.

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Just engaged? Where the heck do we start planning a wedding????

First things first!

You’ve just got engaged, you’re bloody excited about it and so you should be! Planning your own wedding can be a lot of fun, and the best thing is you’re in charge of it woohoo ! It can also be a bit daunting, certainly if you’ve not organised anything on this scale before, don’t worry though - it’ll be fine, remember to enjoy it, don’t stress, you’ve got full control - it’s your day, you can do whatever the hell you want !

So then where do you start? What should you do? Here’s a few things to get you started.

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Start blabbing

Tell people, tell everyone…apart from the people you really don’t like perhaps. Get that status changed to ‘engaged’, post some pics of you looking sickeningly in love and happy - make your mates jealous…and happy for you of course! Go round, see the folks, the family (maybe do that first - unless they were in on the proposal of course, then just go round and get the bubbly open for a celebratory drink), while you’re there get the old folk on speakerphone and give them the good news - they’ll love to hear from you! Spread the word, this is great news !

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Get you ring insured!

No being all doom and gloom here but seriously, your other half has just got you a lovely ring because they love you…and want to marry you. Accidents can happen don’t take the chance, give your home insurance a call and get it added! Right, that’s the only ‘boringly sensible thing!’ here, I think.

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Start thinking about a date

Summer wedding? Winter wedding? Your date is kind of important, it helps you to start to focusing on saving and planning the details. It also let’s people make sure they can be there once you’ve announced it. Now you don’t have to set a date in stone just yet, hold your horses - you might have to be flexible if you have your heart set on a venue, same goes for things like a photographer (yes some people arrange their wedding around the availability of a specific photographer!).

If you want to save a bit of money, consider having a midweek wedding, or out of season, venues are typically cheaper. Saturday is obvs the most popular day to get married, Friday is probably the next popular. Thursdays and Sundays can be a good option if you want to try and keep costs down.

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Get a rough ‘who do we like’ list together

I mean a guest list btw. Now then, I’ll start by saying this - it’s your wedding day, invite whoever you want, don’t feel like you have to invite people because you feel obliged to. Being someone who’s witnessed first hand a helluva lot of weddings, the people you invite make the atmosphere what it is, surround yourself with the people you want to be surrounded with.

Who, or how many people you invite to your wedding will help dictate your venue choice, and quite often your budget.

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What kind of wedding do you want?

There are an abundance of options for the kind of wedding you might want, outdoors, indoors, teepee, festival, boho (I’m still not sure what this is exactly!), traditional, marquee, barn, castle, pub - Jesus the list is endless. Don’t feel tied to a particular theme though, you can have a mishmash of anything you want.

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Gah - money !

Unless you’ve got a money tree you might want to start thinking about a budget. Decide together, get parents involved if they’re helping out but at least get a general idea. It’s boring and can lead to some interesting debates but it needs to be done - sorry !

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What’s important to you?

Most people don’t have unlimited funds for their wedding, so it’s a good idea to start thinking about what’s important to you on your wedding day and putting those things in order, that way you can start calving your budget up. Remember - it’s YOUR wedding therefore your choice as to what to spend on. Some couples put really high value on entertainment so want a kick-ass band to finish their day off, others would rather have more for that dream dress and shoes, for others pictures are the most important thing, or a cake or flowers - who knows but It’s completely your choice! Once you’ve decided what’s really important, don’t skimp on those things - you get what you pay for and if it’s important to you (whatever it is) then spend your money on that - you can always cut costs elsewhere if you need to.

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Start researching venues

Once you kind of know how many people you’re thinking of inviting and the sort of wedding you want you can start looking at venues. Google is your friend, closely followed by arranging a visit to get a feel for the place. Good venues do get booked up early just bear this in mind.

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Start looking for a photographer

The next most popular thing to look at is a photographer, they get booked fast too, often up to 2 years or more in advance if they’re any good. There’s an abundance of styles but bear in mind that most photographers will write stuff to try and appeal to you, my honest advice is to ignore the stuff written and look based on pictures - you’re looking for a photographer not someone to write nice words for you. Make sure you look at LOTS of pictures from anyone you’re interested in, ask to see full galleries (don’t rely on blog posts).

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Learn to say “ermmm nope”

You’ll find people are full of useful advice when you’re planning your day, the future in-laws may have their own ideas about how your day should be. Learn to tactfully say “No chance”, it is your day not theirs (even if they are helping out financially), don’t get steamrollered into having the things people think you should have!

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Go and get drunk

Ok, not necessary BUT go out together to celebrate, make it a regular thing if you can leading up to your wedding - planning can sometimes be a pain in the ass and a bit stressful. Go out and remember why you’re actually doing all the planning in the first place - because you want to marry each other!

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